Dom: *My eyes capture him in an instant, as soon as he’s spoken my name. I’m shaking so much, I must be weightless, the snowflakes bumping me about as I stand. And then he asks the question. The one question that has perhaps been asked the most of any question in history. The one question that has, (as I imagine from the feeling I’m being torn with at this very moment), gone without answer the most of any on this earth. I can hardly breathe. The form of my warm breath breaks in the air, uneven and scattering onto the cold. The sound of it is a small gasp; a worried hesitation that I hadn’t meant to make. It’s the sound of my uncertainty that I wasn’t supposed to express this whole night, and he certainly wasn’t supposed to hear. I need to know what I started this for; the letters, the friendship, and even so far as the single emotion that drew me to this man standing before me. I’m supposed to be sure of everything, down to the last detail, confident that he’ll see me for who I’ve been to him this whole time, not as MS...just as me. As Dom. As his friend. But my heart holds no real sense of certainty, and Billy’s question still hangs unmoving in the light of this shining oak tree, racing over my thoughts for any sense of will that I might speak to him at last. I don’t want to hear my voice. Even as it sounds at first, my heart trembles to a torrent and I am sent shrinking back into myself for the lack of my determination. I realise for the first time that my voice is the most awful sound I’ve ever known; that it’s too rough and too blunt and too low. I realise that I’ve never really been able to say anything right since the moment I learned to speak and Billy now overshadows my every attempt. I shouldn’t have hoped for someone as perfect as him.* Because...I met you...I saw you... *But I don’t really have one reason. My voice won’t continue anyway. My throat is too tight, and I can’t think when I’m looking at him. That’s my reason.*
Billy: *I see what I’ve done instantly, and almost as quickly regret it, regret the one equally simple and complicated word that fell from my lips with an air of curiosity. But it goes beyond an answer, and now I’ve gone and broken him. He has set out everything perfectly, down to the last minute detail, and I went and asked the one thing he could never be prepared for. Yet, in all honesty, he did the same to me. Out of everything that could have happened tonight, this was what I wasn’t prepared for. I was prepared for MS. I think I always knew he would find me, one way or another. I was prepared to refuse him, to turn him away from my door. I was even prepared to fall in love with him again, as in a fairy tale. But I could never be prepared for a real person to knock on the door to my heart. The reason I could never be happy with MS is that he doesn’t exist, not really. With MS, it is his love for me that exists, “we” exist. But he was never a complete person. With Dom, there is no “we.” Dom I love purely for himself, not for how he feels about me. And that was enough to gain the best friend I could have ever wanted. But suddenly, in a bizarre twist of fate, the two have combined, and I am left with one whole, very real person in front of me, looking at me with those eyes of his, not blue at all but a beautiful grey, and full of desperation, as if the very world hangs on the balance of my next words. Here is a man who is more than I could ever really dream of, a man who can not only romance me with the slightest words but who is actually here, real and tangible, for me to touch. And that is what is needed now, now that we have gone beyond words, beyond all hope of turning back into what was once a simple friendship. I pull the gloves off my hands, allowing them to drop unneeded into the snow, and my trembling fingers reach for his hand, finding it as cold as mine feels, and yet it manages to warm me in an instant.* You don’t need to explain. *My words fall softly in the air as I curl my fingers around his. For once, MS’s words are not needed, and the expression upon the face I have looked at for so long but never really seen is all the answer I need.* It’s clear now. *I take a step closer, his face wavering in front of me as I near him and as the sudden cloudiness of my eyesight hinders my gaze.* Tell me this is real. Tell me that everything I’ve believed for the past months is the truth. I need to hear you say it. *That’s all I’ll need, I realize, for everything to fall into place, for this to be the ending, and yet the beginning as well. I will give myself to him completely, if only he will tell me that’s what he really wants.*
Dom: *My eyes shift in his gaze. He’s so close. He’s touching me. He’s holding my hands like I’ve longed to hold his all night, and it is real, and it is a feeling that I would have never imagined could be so rendering of my being to cease and still remain so delicate. I can’t think of what to say. What can I possibly say that hasn’t already been said on a page for him? That’s what he wants; to have me reiterate everything I’ve claimed to be through MS, but I can’t. I don’t want to repeat, like a broken record, like a romance novel so cliché that it ends up lost in some absence of memory. I don’t want to be MS anymore. I’m tired of trying to be so eloquent without the ability of feeling anything tangible. This moment; this moment is tangible. And I know now that I want to be something for Billy that I’ve never before had the chance to be. More than a friend; a lover. Someone unlike a friend who never touches; who touches constantly, and gently, and adoringly. Someone unlike a friend who never whispers; who whispers everything, in movements as well as in sounds, to the very base of their heart. Someone unlike a friend who may not be aware of the presence of any other way of answering a question, or stating, or greeting, or goodbying, other than empty words; who takes every moment to pour ‘you’re beautiful’s and ‘I need you’s and kisses and... ‘I love you’s into every sound and breath of every syllable spoken or left unspoken. And I’ll be this person for Billy, as myself. So that, in the end, there will be no one in between us. It will just be us. Forever and ever. And that’s what I have to prove to him now. In this moment when my emotions are tearing like electricity at my throat and while my stomach is turning over and over inside of me. I cling to his hands, and look at him endlessly.* Billy...I promised myself from the beginning that I’d never lie to you... And everything I said to you... *I lean in close, drinking into his eyes with my gaze.* ...was exactly the truth. *And it’s as though the light of my oak tree has jumped circuit into my body; flames shatter from our bodies in the single bolt that encompasses us, because, I realise, our lips have met, through the torrent of this display; through it all; through every single fibre of every page of every letter I’ve ever written, and every grain of everything I’ve ever and never felt before in my life. I am kissing him. And I would not be surprised if I were to die before the action comes to its end.*
Billy: *Part of me screams that he’s a liar, that his letters weren’t the truth, because there was nothing in his letters that ever came close to this. But the part of me that wants to tell him of this welcome falsehood is silenced, along with the rest of me, engulfed in a single moment as his lips graze mine and settle there. I’m not sure that I will survive this. I don’t know whether I’ll have the chance to tell him that I love him before my heart goes out. But if this is to be my end, I will put my all into it. My fingers drift away from his, coming up to cradle the cool skin of his cheeks as I pour myself into him. Lips fall open against lips and new tastes are experienced as I grow bolder, tongue darting out to enjoy the warmth of his mouth, something that no words could ever accurately describe. No, the letters could never cover this. They were only the beginning. But still, the words echo in my ears as I pull away from his lips, frantically trying to regain my breath.* My words weren’t the truth, Dom. I lied, and I’m sorry. *I pause, watching the telltale flickers of surprise and panic cross his face before my own expression changes, smile fairly exploding from my face, and I rest my forehead against his.* I can keep this up. This is real. And I wouldn’t have you stop it for the world.
Dom: *My mind is stuck. I can’t make it go again. And as he looks so deeply into my eyes, my heart igniting with every pulse, I feel myself begin to cast itself wholly to one pure form of elation.* Yes... *I whisper, nearly breaking, smile spreading over my entire countenance.* Yes... *I repeat, rejoicing, wanting to kiss him again ten thousand times strongly and softly, repeatedly. I pull my hands up and cup his face, shaking awfully as I can no longer bear the weight of my happiness.* Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... *In one motion I break contact with him, standing back before him and reaching my arms as far as they can go, closing my eyes tight and facing the snow from the sky, proclaiming everything, everything, to this darkness.* Yes! *I bring my arms against me tight, ready to detonate into a million little pieces.* Yes, yes, yes! *And then I gasp, and capture Billy in my sight, pulling in close to him once again and taking his hands in mine between my heaving chest and his.* Yes, Billy... *I whisper, locking our eyes and touching his forehead again with my own. I can’t smile enough. It isn’t fair.* I... *A sigh escapes me.* love you...
Billy: *Love. It’s actually there, and that’s real as well, as if it were another person standing between us, bringing us together as forcefully as possible. I can’t believe I’ve heard those words come from Dom’s lips to my ears, intended for me. My incredulousness melts into joy in an instant, and suddenly I don’t need to have reason to believe it, it just is, and that’s all that matters.* Love. Love, love. I love you, Dom. *And my lips can’t be upon his quick enough, once again diving in to feel the smoothness against my own and the sheer electricity that keeps us bound so tightly to each other. But it’s not enough. Dom has fulfilled MS’s immediate promises, but I have no fulfilled mine. And that is something I intend to do. I pull away again, almost painfully, but seeing his grin and mirroring it with my own alleviates any source of separation anxiety.* Come on. *I reach down and grab his hand, warming it with my own.* I believe I promised a certain Mystery Someone a place in my bed tonight, and I intend to keep that promise.
Dom: *I could laugh aloud; in fact, I do, a bit. But I’m hardly able to because of the fullness of my smile. I’ve been so obsessed with my need for him this night – our desperate kisses, our lingering words, our hearts thudding in our chests, the fact that Billy Boyd, the most beautiful person on the planet, has said that he loves me – that I’d almost forgot about my want for him as well. I feel a sudden urge to throw him into my arms and carry him back home to our own devices, but I’m too weak by his words to stand straight any longer. Wobbling through a first step out of these melted footprints, I’m tugged by his hand in the direction of home; our home. We’ve been living together for this long and it has still not seemed as much our home as it does now. I scoop up his gloves from the snow quickly and grab the cord of the lights on his tree, tugging them to darkness, as I stagger after him out of the clearing, feeling the warmth of his hand like my own warm glove, and even ghosting with a feeling of the warmth of his bed; knowing that it must carry every hint of his presence. I want to comprehend his love there like I’m unable to now. I want to feel us wrapped together in something inseparable, whole; one body locked in a mix of wild emotions. I know, irreversibly, immutably, undividedly that this night...I...will make love...with Billy Boyd. My angel. My sweetheart. Who has been my love and lovely on a page but never in person, never face-to-face. This night, some strikingly close place in my future, I will be lying in bed with this indescribable being at the end of my hand, locked to him in love and desire, and feeling him move me out of thought and bitter consciousness. And as I trail behind him, taking him in with my eyes, smile leaping when he throws a glance over his shoulder at me, I know that I will never share a bed with another being for as long as I live. And I will live for him for as long as I’m able to love. I step over a stone and call ahead to him.* Billy, I need to get home faster than this.
Billy: *A thrill seems to rush through me every time he speaks, and I open myself with a laugh to the night, not caring if I wake up the entire world with my elation.* Perhaps we should have taken your bike, after all. T’would have been quicker. *I pull him up alongside of me; it’s not enough to have his hand in mine, I need his body next to mine as well. I’m no longer paying any attention to our surroundings but am operating solely on instinct now, allowing my senses to direct us in the way of the house, and I know they are not wrong.* Come on, we’re not far away now. *I lean and whisper in his ear, gripping his hand tighter in mine, afraid if I let him go he’ll disappear into a dream and not come back. I’m drunk on this, giddy on love, and it’s come over me so suddenly that I’m afraid it might, in fact, be a dream after all, and I’ll awake in my bed on Christmas morning, alone, and never again be able to face Dominic. Because, quick as it feels to me, it also feels deep, and I do not think I could eradicate it if I tried. Which I never would. I peer into the darkness through the thick branches of the trees, and I am fairly sure I can make out the faint glow of the lighted windows of our house, and I smile so hard I’m afraid I’ll split my face open.* Looks like home.
Dom: *I look ahead and see warm light flickering between the trees, and soon we are away from them and standing in the open air once again before Billy's house; before our house. Snow flies from our footsteps as we bound our way around to the front of the house and I laugh when Billy quickly tugs me up the front steps and under the eves from the snow drift. I look behind us into the settling white, the deep woods from which we've come, the cold and the moonlight forming around the house. But we are in our own place now; secluded, we're standing with each other, ready and willing to leave it all behind. Billy just reaches for the door as I turn, smiling, and take him away from it and into my hands. I lean in and press a laughing kiss to his mouth, unable to resist his warmth in this coldness. Before we enter the house and I don't have to rely on his warmth alone anymore. His lips are so, so sweet. And soft. Which is so moving; heart-wrenching. I bend a bit at the knees as I'm kissing him, but as I feel his smile grow under my lips I regain my excitement and grin at him, pulling lightly away and brushing our noses gently.* Tell me this is really happening. *I whisper, bundling his gloves between our hands.*
Billy: *Oh, he’s charming me again, again and again, with that smile and his laugh and general amazement of the situation we’ve found ourselves in, the same amazement that still echoes in my mind. And as boggled by this as I am, I do have a reply to his request.* It’s really happening, all of it. *I whisper with a smile, gazing into his eyes as my fingers tiptoe over his.* Shall I pinch you to prove it? Or shall I just do this again? *I press my lips to his again, finding as much warmth in his kiss as I would ever need in a thousand winters. I’m not sure how I find it possible to break away again, but I do, reaching once more for the doorknob and, grateful for once that I’ve forgotten to lock the front door, turn it, pulling him into the house behind me. I shut the door and lock it behind us, resting my back against it as the world suddenly goes very quiet.*
Dom: *I stand before him, wrapped suddenly in the warmth of the house, shaking a few snowflakes from my hair. I hope silently that he'll leave his snowflakes where they are, because they look perfectly endearing on him. The house is so quiet, while we two merely stand and gaze at each other, smiling as though the whole world were smiling with us, or perhaps as though there is some great secret flying between us at this very moment for no other being to know. I take a step toward him, lifting my hands which come together with his as my body stops before his. I look into his eyes beaming, noting their colour. They are the most pure forest green, very deep, and rare, for I have certainly never seen eyes like these two before in my life. My fingers meander through his hands. A tickle rises in my throat to laugh once again, though I try to hide it as much as I can, not wanting to disrupt this perfect silence, (though I know, in a moment, it will lose all of its importance). His palms are velvet, still a bit cold. I suppose mine are, too. That will all change, though, hey? When? What should I do? I want him. I want him now, I'm about to pour myself all over him. It's making me weak to think of how good this could feel. And now, what do I do? Do I just begin?* You promised MS a place in your bed, but what if he can't make it that far? *I speak through trembling laughter, nearing my breaking point for patience already.*
Billy: *Hmm, an interesting question, because I’m just now noticing how far away my bedroom seems, up the stairs and a little ways down the hall. Dom’s staring at me with bedroom eyes though, and I know we had bloody well try. I pluck the gloves from his hands, tossing them to the side as my hands smooth up the front of his coat.* As long as he tries his hardest, he’ll get an A for effort. *I murmur before pulling at his collar and crushing my lips to his. Maybe this wasn’t the best thing to do if I actually wanted to make it up the stairs but hell, we can be efficient. My fingers find the buttons of his jacket between us, shoving them out of the buttonholes as rapidly as I can while still maintaining contact between our lips. Damn it, he feels so good this close! We had better do this moving. I push him back a bit as my fingers slip over the last of his buttons, and I push his coat from his shoulders triumphantly, breaking the kiss for a breath and a grin.*
Dom: *I'm nearly knocked breathless as he releases me, and I sway a bit before catching sight of his grin and beaming back with anticipation. Almost as soon as I learn to breathe again, I'm pushing back into his lips with my own, even opening his mouth a bit as I move my hands slowly to the fastenings of his coat. I gasp around the shape of his tongue and pull our bodies around with the kiss until I'm able to see the stairway over Billy's shoulder, if I dare look. I finish hastily with the last of the buttons on his coat and slide it around Billy's shoulders, allowing it to fall heavily from his arms onto the floor as I take my first step toward the stairs. I hold Billy's sides as we move up onto the first step, my mouth pushing him backward. My thumb happens to graze under his shirt for an instant, contacting with his warm skin. I moan on his lips lightly, trembling, slowly breaking; this physical foreplay eating away at my ability to control any of my actions. We'll never reach that room. I can picture our bodies tangled at the very edge of the doorway, but no further. I won't be able to wait until then. There are far too many stairs and too few items of clothing.*
Billy: *They’re not usually that difficult to master, stairs. But something is eating away at my mind, something that I have a sneaking suspicion is Dom’s tastetouchheat, and I find myself thinking of them as a very taunting task indeed. Still, a more attainable goal is getting another item of clothing off of his body. Multi-tasking, I toe off my shoes and kick them down the stairs as my hands tug at the hem of his shirt, breaking contact with his lips for the briefest of moments so I can yank the shirt over his head. My lips firmly reaffixed to his, with one hand I grab his arm and pull him up a few more stairs as the other lingers over the smooth planes of his chest, delighting at the shivers my touches seem to raise from his skin.*
Dom: *I smile, comprehending his cool touch on my chest, allowing myself to be tugged limply up the next few stairs before falling under the spell of Billy's kiss once again. Somehow my fingers have found their way to his bare waist, pressing lightly into his warm skin while I hold him. He is so tempting; every move is a new emotion set against me. To devour him would not be wholly wrong, would it? If he consents? I grin to myself, running the curve of my lips over his whole mouth as I knock my shoes off against a lower stair. Stepping up I urge Billy onto the next level, slowly, very slowly moving my hands past the edge of his shirt and over his skin. I shiver as his stomach leaps at the touch of my cold fingers upon it; how it causes his tongue to slide further into my mouth against mine. With another step upward, my hands reach up to his collar, pulling his shirt far enough to break our kiss. Regrettably, I breathe a sigh away from his lips and raise my hands over his head, lifting the shirt from his body. As it comes free of his arms, I don't even have the strength to cast it from our path, and it slides loosely down between our two bodies and then onto the floor. I push Billy up one more step, re-engaging our heated kiss, even more deeply as our stomachs come together, warm skin upon skin. I run my hands up his bare arms, fingers twitching around his muscles as they tense and relax to my touch.*
Billy: *I’m amazed we’ve stayed standing. I can’t believe I haven’t simply toppled over and brought him with me. I’m proud of our accomplishment; now it’s time for our reward. I groan at his hands on my arms, soothing and firm at the same time, and my own hands slide around his back. Fingertips play along the soft skin of his back shyly, yet they loose all traces of bashfulness as they dip below the waistband of his trousers, feeling the heat pooling under these last pieces of clothing. I want a part of that heat. My hands come around to his stomach, palms applying light pressure to his muscles as I take his lower lip between my teeth, nibbling gently. I flip open the button of his fly with my thumb, taking a hold of the zipper and dragging it down. With one fluid movement I push his trousers past his hips and down his legs, hoping he’s not going to trip on them. And then I’m back, pressed against him fully, lips fiercely attacking his lips as my hands grasp his almost-bare hips.*
Dom: *Holy shite. I need him. I want him. I push him up two stairs in one moment, stepping out of my jeans as I go and ravaging his mouth with my lips and tongue. As I stop my hips crash into his, and I am suddenly made very aware of the desperation of my hardness against him. My whole body throbs and my hands still on his arms, holding him still as I focus myself on getting our hips as close as possible. My arousal presses into him, and is answered by an equal force pushing up from Billy's trousers as well. The movement of his trousers' firm zipper on my need is etching into my skin, but I know I must get rid of it. Finally dipping my hands from his arms, I take the button of Billy's trousers between my fingers and twist it loose. I lick languidly at Billy's bottom lip as my right hand moves lower to his zipper, slowly dragging it down, notch by notch, where it is pressed between us. I moan and stagger up another step, leaning too far into Billy's body and causing us to swerve away until I am leaning him against the wall tightly. Tucking my fingers under the edge of his trousers I bring them over his hips, conveniently snagging his undergarments along the way. As the clothing becomes loose in my hands, I let it pool to the ground at Billy's feet, taking one step onto the fallen pile and pressing my arousal firmly into Billy's own radiating need, yearning to hear sweet sounds fall from his lips and trickle over my tongue.*
Billy: *I had expected the roaring heat to spread through my veins. I had expected the silky feeling of his skin against mine. But I had never anticipated the intense shocking pleasure that courses from all points of my body as he rocks into my hips, need meeting need, and the sound that drips from my lips is one of absolute ecstasy, somewhere between a choked back cry and a breathy whimper. And damn it all if he hasn’t pulled into the lead. Using the wall as support, I pull him tightly against me, grinding my hips to his as we go, and slip my feet out of my socks. I step on his toes and urge him to back out of his own, and then with the final goal in plain sight, my fingers hitch against the waistband of his underwear, slipping them down, away from us, the final barrier between us and victory vanquished! And then I’m almost clawing at his back for that unknown friction of skin on skin, pushing, pushing. But it’s too much to handle against a wall in my hallway, and we have only two steps to go. My hands curl against his waist as I drag him up the final stairs and down the hall. I kick the door open and pull him into my room, salvation in sight. From there it’s just a matter of backing away until I feel the mattress hit me behind the knees and down I go, pulling him on top of me as I go.*
Dom: *I've hardly has a chance to feel him at all, his arousal bare on mine, before he's tugged me up the last of the stairs and across what seems miles of distance into his room. But as I collapse upon him, swaying with the impact we've made, our needs collide, and I dig my hands into his blankets trying not to shout all manner of obscenities into his mouth. My tongue curls around his tightly behind his lips as I pound my hips into his, fingers knotting cloth beside his head. Vapors of heat pulse from his body and I run our chests together through them, feeling them like waves ebbing our skin. I situate my legs around his, my inner thighs rubbing the slight form of his hips. Then I edge back a breath and drive into him again, the form of his arousal stumbling under mine.* Ah- *I break our kiss with a gasp and lick rapidly at the corner of his mouth. I can't rise again, but I lie heaving against him, still nudging his arousal with mine repeatedly. I want his hands writhing on my skin; I want his moans slipping through my ears. Now. I whimper a plea. Now...*
Billy: *I would like to be strong, to last, to make this night a night to memorize every contour of his body, every spot that makes him writhe, but we both know we’re too far gone for that. However, I will hold out for one thing. My hands on his shoulders, I push Dom off me and onto his back, straddling his waist as I stare down at him, breath coming out in erratic pants.* Let me make love to you, Dom, please. *My hands move down his chest, fingers grazing nipples as they pass, and I rock my hips forcefully against his with a grunt.* I want to be inside of you. *My hands reach their target and I take his arousal in my hand, sliding my fist along the length of it, eyes never leaving his.*
Dom: *My eyes widen, back hitting the bed with a loud thud. But as Billy suddenly forces himself upon me, hand dragging my arousal with want, my eyes pinch tight and I bend backward into the mattress with a broken cry. Let me make love to you, Dom, please. The words echo in my head, louder and softer and louder and softer. My lips form that word, silently moving - 'please...' - begging and raising my hips to feel his hand grip down to my hilt again. I want to be inside of you. My hands grasp at his arms, rise to the shape of his ribs, push his skin, hot under my touch, down to his soft waist, down further to slide past his rump and along his thighs. I press my fingers into his skin, teeth clenched tight, body straining for him as I pull at his legs to give way.* ...inside…inside… *My chest dips with a panicked breath, and Billy runs his hand hard down my length again.* Fuck-….Billy!.... *Give me your body. Please. Inside of me. Shatter inside me. Everywhere.*
Billy: *He’s at the same point as I am, the point of undoing, and I love him like this. I want to make him mine for good, break him into a thousand tiny pieces and then put him back together again. I don’t let go of him as I lean towards the bedside table, even as I fumble in the back of the drawer for objects long neglected I continue my stroking, feeling the beat of his blood through his veins under my fingers. Finding what I’m looking for, I withdraw from the drawer and lean down to kiss him long and hard, the trembling of his lips unbearably sweet. I release him and move to kneel between his legs, reaching for the condom and tearing open the packet. I hiss as I slide it onto myself and then slide my palms against his inner thighs, easing them open. I help bring his hips and legs up, bending them at the knees. I then reach for the tube of lube, smearing a good amount onto my fingers as I look down at him, lucid enough to say important words.* Just tell me if you need me to stop. *I breathe, moving a fingertip to stroke against his opening gently before slipping it in to the first knuckle.*
Dom: *I gasp through my teeth, bucking my hips upward at Billy's touch, but slowly and steadily calm as I wait and allow Billy's hand to stroke me to another attention. I nudge onto him, feeling his finger inside of me, but concerned too much for his hand over my throbbing length to give it much heed. His fingers squeeze my length and I moan, noting that he is now too far away to hold onto. My hands again shove into the blankets at my sides and I twist the cloth around my wrists, seething with lust for his touch. Breaking from the stillness of this moment, I thrust into his tightly-gripped fist, causing his finger, at the same time, to slide wholly within me.* Ah-! *That wasn't supposed to happen. I bend up from the bed toward the blunt sensation, and Billy is quick to coo me with gentle strokes and hushes. I gasp at the air, trying to calm, watching Billy's expression of concern until my heartbeat slows. When I'm finally able to lie again into the plush of the bed, I nod to Billy, chest rising with nervous breath, hands digging into the blankets for a tight hold.* Right... *I assure, letting Billy know I'm ready for his next move.* ...okay... *I feel like I'm consoling myself more than anything. But I know that having him inside of me at last will make up for anything I feel within these next few moments. And he will be making love to me. He'll be giving his beautiful body to me. Inside of me.*
Billy: *It’s all I can do to not pull my finger out and push into him in one swift movement, with how amazing he looks writhing beneath me, but this is going to be good for both of us, better than good, so I will take my time with this, at least. I slip my finger in and out a few times, moaning at the tightness; if he does this to me with only my finger, what is it going to be like when my very arousal is seated deep inside him? Cautiously I add another finger, stretching him out gently. It’s beginning to relax him, I can tell, and I add a third finger with less worry, stretching him one last time before pulling my hand away. I slide my still lube-coated hand down my own erection before nuzzling up against him, the head of my arousal bumping gently against his opening. Placing one hand on the mattress by his hip and the other still wrapped firmly around his need, I push slowly into him, body shuddering and eyes flickering shut at the overwhelming tightness that surrounds me. This isn’t going to last long.*
Dom: *I could rip the blankets, this feels so good. My legs wrap tightly around Billy's back, heels pinching into his sides. My arms bend, hands curling in his bedding. My whole body shudders through one great quake and I am left coiling and squirming beneath him, unable to rise into his hand against his weight now upon me. And in me. He is in me. I feel his length pressing at the boundaries inside of me. His pulse thrusting through his erection holds me open to him. And he's buried himself so deep inside of me. I can nearly feel him at the very point of my lust, and my heart convulses at this nearness. Electricity runs like hot metal down my spine, vibrating at the base of my arousal, stimulating it into his hand, even harder than before. With all of my energy, I push my hips up under him, forcing his length to slide more deeply into me. His hand slicks down my arousal, moistened now by my own impatient need. His small voice catches in my ear. He gasps, and the sound falls on my bare body, and riddles a tremble down to my neck, ricocheting back to my hilt. I can feel my fluids churning at my groin. I can't hold it much longer. If Billy moves, I could lose all of my control right here. With one small caress within me, I'll be crying out his name.*
Billy: Ah - Fuck, Dom! *His heart's beating through me, I can feel it, feel it hardest when I press fully into him, so that is what I'll do: find his heartbeat. I lift myself up, sliding slickly back through him and then thrust down deeply, sobs coming rising from my throat. So good. So absolutely amazing. I can't feel myself anymore, feel anything beyond this pinnacle of pleasure that’s fused itself to my very being. Every thrust sends me deeper and deeper into him, every cry that falls from his lips to my ears only eggs me on and my fist pumps rapidly in time with each thrust. The blood rushes in my ears, my eyes threaten to roll back into my head, but I keep them focused on Dom, especially when the pressure builds, mounting at the base of my spine. I watch him, keep focused on him, and then I can hear my own voice distantly, shouting his name with a power I didn’t know I had in me as I come, burying myself to the hilt inside of him as a sob wracks my body.*
Dom: *A point of warmth shoots out inside of me, and my pulse catches it on its wing and carries it through me. He's hit me with one fell thrust, pounding at the exact moment of my churning heartbeat, triggering the course, throwing me into a state of stiffness and shock. The fluids racing within me are crushed with the electric bolt at my spine and catch fire, bursting forth through my erection with searing pleasure, and I open my eyes to see Billy, gazing overwhelmingly into my eyes, just before I release myself heavily over his fist.* Damn, fuck it- Ah-...ah- ... *My inane whimpers fall into the sounds of his name as I slowly slide from Billy's hand, my release slowing to nothing but a few droplets and my body turning limp beneath him. I gasp for breath, moving slightly around Billy's length, but now too sated to be affected by its presence. I take minutes to recover, sighing, breathing, wringing my hands finally from Billy's blankets, which I'm certain have left marks in my fingers. I coil my hands upon his bed and open my eyes again to Billy's glowing form above me. My last great sigh falls on the humid air of his room, crumbling with the need of him. My eyes try to thank him in a way my mouth, dry from my previous cries, cannot. And my Billy looks upon me as though he is in love. My heart longs for him. I now want to touch him with all that is in me. I want to hold him and cradle his spent body. I want to feel the touch of his lips, bring our faces together, so I might clean the tears from his eyes and the sweat from his brow. I bend my fingers to my palms and raise my hips as much as I can, tilting Billy's tired body toward me.*
Billy: *The beating of my heart settles slowly, thumping loudly yet steadily in my chest as I ease out of him before collapsing in his arms. My lips come in contact with his collarbone and I make lazy kisses there as I try to regain any power of speech. Fingers spread at his sides, cradling him, and I draw him up, properly onto the bed, up towards the pillows. I have barely enough strength to draw the messed up covers over us before I crawl back into the comforting circle of his arms. I lift my head to look at him one more time, unable to get enough of the sight of him, the man I love. I drop a kiss gently to his lips, murmuring.* Merry Christmas, love. *I settle into his embrace then, ready for the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had, followed by an amazing holiday. I’m glad I got my best gift early.*
Dom: *I watch him. Just watch him until my heartbeat has finally drifted out of my ears, from against my throat. And I lie under his blankets, looking at his beautiful resting body. This pillow smells like him; these blankets smell like him, too. The whole room really looks like him, now that I look at it for a moment; centered and neat and clean. But this...this place...this time...it feels like us. As I hold him in my arms here, his warm, delicate body lying against me for comfort and heat, I feel in love. I finally dip my head deeply into his pillow - or is it my pillow now? I smile and place a kiss gently on his forehead, still tasting his salt. Then I lie back and look at him.* Merry Christmas, my Billy... *I whisper, wondering aimlessly to myself what I did right today; what I said to make him answer with 'I love you, Dom'; how I know that this is going to be the best Christmas that my heart has ever known. The last thing I see, sleeping in my gaze, before I close my eyes, is Billy - the one I love. The one who loves me, too.*